You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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