Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
