I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
