Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
