So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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