who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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