More tranny stories later!
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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