If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
