All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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