So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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