You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
