I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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