why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
