The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
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Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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