I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
