yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
