So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
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Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
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How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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