In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
