I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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