I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Is it because I queefed?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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