My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
