The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
