I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
