So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
