Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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