well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
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I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
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But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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