Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
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