I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
