in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
