Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
