I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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