is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
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