We're facebook friends in real life
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
