He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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