I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Randomize
