Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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