There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
