garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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