if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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