Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
my sisters under your porch take her home
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize