I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
