so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize