But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
