in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
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