your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.