It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
