in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
