He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
