Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You just made me feel so damn special
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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