i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
