im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
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