Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
