I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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