i permit you to call me
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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