i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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