Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
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