guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
