I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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