Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
