chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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