it hurts more in the daytime
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
