I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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