is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
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