Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
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I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
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I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
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