I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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