Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
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Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
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You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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