if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
