so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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