Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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